Ok, so maybe you get to at your place of work too, but I get to party with a school full of costume-adorned, candy-crazed kids to boot!
I know you've all been dying to see...I WAS A FIRST GRADER!!
I was so relieved that my students got it and actually thought it was pretty dang funny (they don't seem to get the majority of my jokes...lame sauce)! They kept saying they didn't have to listen to what I said because I was just a first grader and not their teacher (so clever they are), but, ha ha, jokes on you, you still have to obey me.
My sweet SONIC BOOM backpack. Do I have any clue what SONIC BOOM is? Not a one, but it's a pirate plane with fire shooting out of it! You can't go wrong with that. Ready for school!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! I hope you all got to dress up and party too!
Hey, that's my face and my name on that award! Unfortunately I can't take all of the credit. My first grade team was recognized by the district for our outstanding collaboration, teamwork, and effort in striving for student achievement. Pretty neato, huh? All of my hard work has paid off. I mean, hello, I got a fancy piece of paper with my name on it! BOOYAH!
And for total cuteness (and a tinge of creepiness due to the blurring of the faces. No, they didn't just watch The Ring, I'm trying to cover my butt), the other day in PE (which I also teach) we were spelling words and making numbers with our bodies and two of my students made a heart for me! I think the little stinkers are starting to win me over!
Some people are good and some people are bad. That's pretty basic. I'm sure someone is sitting there thinking, "Now, I don't know if I agree with that. I believe all people are good, some good people just do bad things." Ok, so generally I prescribe to that notion, but I'm only keeping this surface level. So no playing devil's advocate, just go with me on this one.
I've been really peeved all week because of a "happening" this weekend that involves me in a round about way. Some low-lifes broke into my school with a crowbar and trashed as much as they could (student work, bulletins, basically anything in the halls was fair game), stole some computers and money, and busted a bunch of doors into the office, including an unsuccessful attempt into our safe. Come to find out that there have been several break-ins at different schools all around our area and the cops believe it's the same group hitting them all. They've even returned a handful of times to the same schools, so we were told to expect another break-in. Seriously? How far gone do you have to be to target the schools of children who have almost nothing? I just don't understand, and I'm grateful that I don't understand, why some people on this earth make such horrible decisions and choose to hurt other people. Because yes, it is a choice. In the grand scheme of things, is some idiots breaking into my school the worst thing that could ever and will ever happen? Not by a million miles, but it still makes me frustrated with the state of the people in this country and without a doubt, in the world.
And then, one person does something kind to prove that things are not hopeless and that good always wins. And with that, I want to thank the lady at WalMart who brightened my day and changed my attitude for the week. It's almost embarrassing that it was so powerful for me, but I'm always blown away by random acts of kindness, especially involving strangers. I was in the cosmetic section picking up some items for Katelyn, (I guess they don't have Covergirl in Japan...) I slipped some eyeliner and powder into my cart, and went on my way over to frozens to pick up some Lean Cuisines. It was at least 5-10 minutes since I'd been in cosmetics, when from behind me I heard this lady say,
"Oh, there you are! I've been looking for you!" I'm sure I gawked and pointed at myself like an idiot. Me?
"I just noticed you picked up some Covergirl items and I have a coupon here for a dollar off any Covergirl product. You were gone before I had time to fish it out of my purse."
I couldn't stop thanking her and I was infinitesimally close to wrapping her in a big ol' bear hug! It wasn't that I was thrilled at the aspect of saving a whole dollar, it was the fact that this lady went out of her way to reach out and touch another human being. What causes some people to steal and destroy and others to hunt down a stranger in a WalMart to give them a coupon? I have a few answers for that one, but that's another blog post, another time. I choose to believe that most people are good and that most people choose good and choose to help others, rather than hurt them. I often pray that I can be the light in someone's dark day and that I can be inspired by the Lord, even in the smallest of things (like giving a stranger a coupon), to make a positive imprint on mankind.
I love the analogy of turning on a light in a dark room. It's so true. It's just like that.
So I was scanning my peep's blog roll today when I saw THIS ABOMINATION:
Shoooot...does that seriously have my name on it? Does that seriously say I updated 4 WEEKS AGO?! That is sooo not my style. How did I become one of those people?! You know the ones. We all have them on our blog rolls. And 4 weeks is nothing compared to some of their records. I could rattle off some excuses to pardon myself from this heinous act...and I will.
Excuse #1:
'Nough said. And this just so happens to be an exact replica of my school and my 6 students. I'm the only teacher and the bus driver is five.
Excuse #2:
Seriously...I'm a machine, an animal. If you don't believe me, check it out!
Excuse #3:
I finally caved and started watching. Thank you Hulu for posting all five seasons and destroying any semblance of a life I had left.
And there you have it folks. A day in the life of yours truly and why I have failed my blogging comrades. I vow to remedy the situation and to hopefully, never repeat this tragedy.
First of all, don't you know that's OJ's car? I wouldn't be caught dead in a murderer's car. Or would I? Second of all, I wasn't flipping you off, I was blocking my eyes from the sun, morons. After the verbal tirade and the display of obscene gestures, then I was flipping you off. See the difference?
Grow-up. And when you do give me a call. (Not really, but I couldn't resist quoting a classic. Well, it's a classic in my book.)
Technically, I am still being laborious. Can "laborious" be used like that, or just as an adjective? Yeah, I'm definitely not using that right. That's what she said. That word though, laborious, it makes me think of Dexter's Lab because Dexter would always say la-bore-atory. I miss that show.
If you followed that at all, congratulations. What I was trying to say is that it's a holiday and where am I? At school, duh. But at least I am kid-free, so that still qualifies as a holiday in my mind. I got sick of being laborious (Dang, does that girl know she's still not using that right? That's what she said. Yes, I know.) so I'm taking a break and BLOGGING! It turns out that this is one of the ten websites that my school doesn't block, so my options were pretty limited anyway.
Check this out: One of my students pooped his pants on Friday. POOPED his pants! Vomiting, yes, I can understand because that can catch you off guard. Even urinating can sneak up on you, but poop you have to stand there and consciously push the sucker out. Yeah, yeah, yeah, unless it's diarrhea, I'm aware, but this wasn't, or it would've been a nasty, horrifying mess. They all came in from recess and something was smelling a little funkified. I figured that maybe one of them just wafted in a fart, so I did nothing. Then we went to the rug for a writing activity and I called the culprit up to write for us. OOOOOOhh no, that was no lingering fluff. I whispered to the poor boy and asked if he'd had an accident. He told me "no," but it was pretty darn obvious. I took him aside and asked him seriously ten times until he finally admitted to me that he had. So I just sent him to the office and his mom came and picked him up. No harm done, but he was sitting on my rug, I better hose that thing down before I leave.
At church yesterday I thought someone called me a cougar. Well, correction, she did call me a cougar, but I misinterpreted her meaning. I introduced myself and said that I was a BYU graduate, to which this little girl behind me replies, "cougar." I thought this was a reflection of the fact that I was a graduate and therefore, ancient in her eyes, and in a ward filled with UVU freshman. I seriously mind-slapped her. If you're confused one of the new meanings of the word cougar is an older woman who hunts younger men. Yeah, that's honestly what I thought. I was bugged for the rest of church, and finally told my roommate as we were leaving. She informed me that she probably meant that I was a BYU cougar because duh, now I'm in UVU country. Color me embarrassed. Oh, how we laughed.
I figured out why I got off scot-free with the breaking the law three times thing. It's because my precious Mercury Villager had a laundry list of things wrong with it and I had to take it to Pep Boys the other day to get it functioning again. Heavenly Father was letting me swap one huge bill for another. Deal.
I think I've breaked sufficiently and should return to being laborious.
Let it be known from here on out that I am one lucky s.o.b. Now, allow me to start this story off right, beginning with Saturday night. I went to a bonfire with some friends and at some point during the night I introduced the topic of being pulled over, how many times, how many tickets, yada yada yada. This happens to be one of my favorite topics because I thoroughly enjoy bragging about the fact that not only have I never received a ticket, but I've never even been pulled over (better change that to "I'd"). Skip to last night.
I'm driving home from the gym (sans wallet mind you. I mean, who takes their wallet to the gym?) when I blow right past a cop going 40 in a 25. All I could think in my head was, "Ah, here it goes," and just as I suspected, he pulled out right behind, turned on those dang flashing lights, and I was dead meat. The second thought that went coursing through my mind was, "I DON'T HAVE MY LICENSE!" I was surprisingly calm as the police officer walked up to my car and told me the reason he pulled me over.
"I pulled you over because you were going 40 in a 25."
"Yeah, I realize that (no sarcasm, just friendliness and smiles)."
"I need your license, registration, and insurance please."
"Umm, well, I don't happen to have my license because I was just at the gym and I don't always take my wallet with."
"Hahaha, oh yeah, I usually don't take mine either when I go to the gym. But you should."
"Ummm, let me see here. I have a ton of crap in my glovebox. Is this the registration?
"No, that's a Les Schwab bill."
"Ok, yeah, umm, that's something about AAA, um, receipts, here, I think this is it."
"That looks right. I'm not really familiar with Oregon insurance and registration."
"Me neither (giggle, giggle, eyelashes). Insurance, insurance, I know I got it here somewhere...Ah, here it is!"
"This expired in March. You keep looking and I'll go run your registration."
"(Ring, ring) Hey Dad, do you have the current proof of insurance at home?"
"Yes I do. Why, you didn't get pulled over did you?"
"Mmmaybe. Well I need it."
"I could chastise you, but let he who is without sin cast the first stone."
"Very true. Well send that to me asap por favor."
"Will do. (Love you, love you, click)"
"Any luck with that insurance?"
"Umm, well, it turns out that my dad has the current one in Oregon."
"I could give you a big ticket for not having your license, I could give you another big ticket for going 40 in a 25, and I could give you a huge fine, I could even impound your car for not having a current proof of insurance. The stars must me aligned for you tonight because I'm just going to let you go on home."
"They must be. THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU!"
"You have a good night."
"You too!"
I hope you enjoyed the play-by-play. So, I can no longer say I haven't been pulled over, but I'm still out of the ticket club! Ha ha! I must have better feminine wiles than I thought.
Your prize for reading this whole spiel is one of my favorite videos of all time. Sure brings me back to Freshman year at BYU. Ahhh, the hours wasted on stupidvideos.com. All worth it.
I was so relieved that my students got it and actually thought it was pretty dang funny (they don't seem to get the majority of my jokes...lame sauce)! They kept saying they didn't have to listen to what I said because I was just a first grader and not their teacher (so clever they are), but, ha ha, jokes on you, you still have to obey me. 
My sweet SONIC BOOM backpack. Do I have any clue what SONIC BOOM is? Not a one, but it's a pirate plane with fire shooting out of it! You can't go wrong with that.
Ready for school!! HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!! I hope you all got to dress up and party too!
Hey, that's my face and my name on that award! Unfortunately I can't take all of the credit. My first grade team was recognized by the district for our outstanding collaboration, teamwork, and effort in striving for student achievement. Pretty neato, huh? All of my hard work has paid off. I mean, hello, I got a fancy piece of paper with my name on it! BOOYAH!
